Signs Of a Depressed ESFJ: Triggers and How to Help

In this article, we’re diving into the world of ESFJs and exploring how to spot and help a depressed individual belonging to this personality type.

Emotions play a huge role in the lives of ESFJs, who are known to be natural people pleasers and dedicated to making their loved ones happy.

But when an ESFJ is feeling down, their behavior can change drastically, making it essential for us to understand the signs and learn how to provide the right support.

So, let’s embark on this journey together as we discuss how to uplift a struggling ESFJ without overstepping their boundaries or making them feel like a burden.

07 Signs Of Depression In ESFJs

1. ESFJs become drained when their efforts aren’t appreciated

ESFJs pour their hearts into making their loved ones happy, so when their efforts go unnoticed, it can be disheartening.

Feeling unappreciated can take a toll on their emotional well-being.

2. Criticism and feeling irrelevant can easily discourage ESFJs

These caring individuals thrive on making a difference in their community.

If they face harsh criticism or feel their contributions aren’t valued, they may become disheartened and closed off.

3. Negative environments and people can drain ESFJs

As sensitive and emotional beings, ESFJs need support and kindness from those around them.

A consistently negative environment can exhaust them and contribute to depressive feelings.

4. ESFJs dislike flaky people and false promises

With their strong sense of duty and genuine nature, ESFJs expect the same from others.

When people don’t follow through or seem insincere, it can upset and frustrate them.

5. ESFJs struggle with setting boundaries

Because they’re so caring, ESFJs may have difficulty saying ‘no’ and setting boundaries, which can lead to feeling overwhelmed and stressed.

This, in turn, can contribute to depression.

6. ESFJs may become overly self-critical

As perfectionists, ESFJs can be incredibly hard on themselves when they fail to meet their own high expectations.

This self-criticism can exacerbate feelings of depression.

7. ESFJs may exhibit changes in their social behavior

When struggling with depression, ESFJs might either withdraw from social situations or become excessively clingy.

This change in behavior can be a sign that they’re not feeling their best.

Helping a Depressed ESFJ

1. Validate their feelings

ESFJs often worry about burdening others with their emotions, so it’s crucial to reassure them that their feelings matter and that it’s okay to be vulnerable.

Let them know that you’re there to listen without judgment and their emotions are valid.

2. Offer practical assistance

ESFJs appreciate concrete help, so if you notice they’re struggling, offer to lend a hand with daily tasks, like running errands or cooking a meal.

This practical support can alleviate some stress and show them that they’re not alone in their fight against depression.

3. Encourage self-care and setting boundaries

Help your ESFJ friend recognize the importance of self-care and teach them how to set healthy boundaries.

Remind them that it’s okay to prioritize their well-being and say ‘no’ when they need to.

RELATED: Mythical Creatures MBTI: Which One Are You?

By learning to balance their own needs with those of others, they’ll be better equipped to manage their mental health.

4. Provide a safe space for expression

Create an environment where the ESFJ feels comfortable discussing their thoughts and feelings.

This may involve setting up regular check-ins or just making it clear that your door is always open for a chat.

5. Support their passions and interests

Encourage your ESFJ friend to engage in activities they love, whether it’s volunteering, pursuing a hobby, or socializing with friends.

By doing so, you’ll help them regain a sense of purpose and fulfillment.

6. Help them focus on their strengths

During difficult times, it’s easy for ESFJs to lose sight of their own strengths.

Remind them of their positive attributes and how they’ve overcome challenges in the past.

This can help boost their confidence and resilience.

7. Encourage professional help when needed

Sometimes, depression can be too much for a person to handle on their own.

Gently suggest that they seek professional help from a therapist or counselor if their symptoms persist or worsen.

Offer to assist them in finding a suitable professional or even accompany them to an appointment if they’re comfortable with it.

Main Reasons Why ESFJs Get Depressed

1. Unmet emotional needs

ESFJs thrive on emotional connections with others.

When their relationships lack depth, understanding, or reciprocity, they may feel unfulfilled and susceptible to depression.

2. Perceived lack of purpose

These individuals are driven by a strong desire to make a difference in their community.

If they feel like they’re not making an impact, they may experience a sense of purposelessness that can lead to depression.

3. High expectations and self-criticism

ESFJs are perfectionists and can be incredibly hard on themselves.

When they don’t meet their own high standards, they may become excessively self-critical, potentially worsening depressive feelings.

4. Difficulty setting boundaries

Since ESFJs are natural people-pleasers, they often struggle to set boundaries and may overextend themselves in an attempt to make others happy.

This can lead to burnout, stress, and ultimately depression.

5. Feeling underappreciated

ESFJs invest a lot of time and energy into helping others, so when their efforts go unnoticed, they may feel disheartened and undervalued.

Over time, this can contribute to depression.

6. Exposure to negativity or toxic environments

As sensitive and empathetic individuals, ESFJs can easily absorb the emotions of those around them.

RELATED: Most Mature MBTI Types: 16 Personalities Ranked

Prolonged exposure to negativity or toxic environments can weigh heavily on their emotional well-being, leading to depression.

7. Fear of rejection or abandonment

ESFJs deeply value their relationships, and the fear of rejection or abandonment can be a significant source of anxiety for them.

If they experience a loss or perceive that their loved ones are drifting away, they may feel overwhelmed by sadness and depression.

07 Signs of Anxiety in ESFJs

1. Excessive worry about relationships

ESFJs highly value their connections with others, so they may become overly concerned about the well-being and happiness of their loved ones.

This constant worry can be a sign of anxiety.

2. Overanalyzing social interactions

When experiencing anxiety, ESFJs might overthink and dissect their social interactions, searching for any signs of disapproval or rejection.

This can lead to unnecessary stress and perpetuate their anxiety.

3. Struggling with decision-making

Anxious ESFJs may find it challenging to make decisions, even relatively simple ones, due to the fear of making the wrong choice or displeasing others.

This indecisiveness can be a sign of underlying anxiety.

4. Perfectionism and fear of failure

ESFJs are natural perfectionists, and anxiety can exacerbate this trait.

They may become increasingly concerned about making mistakes, leading to a fear of failure that can be paralyzing.

5. Physical symptoms

Anxiety in ESFJs can manifest as physical symptoms, such as headaches, muscle tension, fatigue, or gastrointestinal issues.

Paying attention to these symptoms can help identify anxiety in its early stages.

6. Avoidance of social situations

While ESFJs are generally social creatures, anxiety may cause them to withdraw from social events or avoid situations that could lead to conflict.

RELATED: Most Spontaneous MBTI Personalities: Are You One of Them?

This change in behavior can be a sign that they’re grappling with anxiety.

7. Overwhelming need for control

Anxiety can make ESFJs feel like they’re losing control over their lives, leading to an increased need for order and predictability.

They may become overly concerned with organization and structure as a way to cope with their anxiety.

Final Thoughts

In conclusion, supporting a depressed or anxious ESFJ requires understanding their unique needs and offering compassionate assistance.

By recognizing the signs of depression or anxiety, you can help your ESFJ friends or loved ones navigate their challenges and find their path to healing.

Remember to be patient and empathetic, and encourage them to seek professional help if necessary.

By doing so, you’ll not only strengthen your bond but also contribute to their overall well-being and happiness.

What’s Next?

• Why Are ISTPs So Chill & Cool? Exploring Their Quiet Nature
• Will an INTP Ever Come Back? Heartbreak, Betrayal, & Breakups
• Are INTPs Good at Reading People? Are They Difficult To Read?
• ESTP and INFP Relationships: Match Made in Heaven (or Hell)?
• Venus Square Saturn Synastry: Love & Friendships Explained